“My dear,
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”
—Albert Camus
The Mexica (Aztecs) believed that the Winter Solstice—the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere—is also the birthday of Huitzilopochtli, the revered energy essence also known as “the hummingbird to the left” who symbolizes the sun and warriorship.
One story that is told is that after traveling through the sky all year long, the sun “dies” around the Winter Solstice and travels to Mictlan, the place of the dead, where it has “to battle the darkness —the longest night—and is reborn victorious…as the Hummingbird, demonstrating great heart and willpower.”
There is so much beautiful metaphor here. And while I have learned to be ok, find my way, and even appreciate the beauty and wisdom of darkness (both physically as a Texan living New York winters married to a Swedish person, AND also a spiritual explorer) I am still always leaning into the light. Feeling the sunshine on my face and melting my hardening heart by an open fire.
We all go through dark nights of the soul. That’s very much what my book Get Rooted is about. And we also go through heartache and heaviness collectively, with global pandemics and wars and closer-to-home hardships and tragedies.
So how do we not lose our spark of hope? How do we keep the light burning within?
We do it by keeping our hearts strong and warm and walking the road together.
In my worst moments and years of grief, anxiety, and darkness, it was others who shined the light.
Sometimes we can find our own will, our own healing. We are able to feel the strength of the hummingbird in our hearts and follow it home.
But sometimes when we are too tired, we are carried by the hummingbird, and we can rest our heads on her feathers and listen to her heartbeat as the hands and prayers and kindness of others push and pull us towards the light.
Wherever this writing finds you my friend, weary or steady, know that the sun is coming. It is here now. Let yourself rest and be warmed.
The hummingbird is flying.
Ometeotl!
